various artists - CMJ Presents Certain Damage! - Volume 3

Here's a look back to when people still thought the Red Hot Chili Peppers were edgy, when college rock meant you could loop Fields of the Nephilim, Robbie Robertson, and Kool Moe Dee together, and funk metal was the next big thing. Truth be told: I kept this because I found the cover art so goddamned charming. The Cabaret Voltaire song is pretty solid, Lion was on the "The Transformers: The Movie" soundtrack, and I'm not sure I'll ever get Bryan Ferry solo. 1987 was weird for music, man.

Discogs

Click here to download.

various artists - Tromeo & Juliet (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack)

When I saw the other day that James Gunn had yet another movie open #1 at the box office, I was reminded, yet again, that he made his bones writing "Tromeo & Juliet", Troma's beloved take on Shakespeare. So it led me to bust out this shiny slab of aluminum. I bought it b/c Troma and Unsane, I kept it b/c Motörhead and Superchunk and Meatmen and Wesley Willis. Hell, they even managed to wedge a song from Gunn's band, the Icons, on here.

This is not going to show up on a listical of iconic 90s soundtracks. But I'd suggest that it should be recognized as part of the canon. While there's little here that is exclusive to the soundtrack, it does offer a wide swath of "alternative" rock from the late 90s, from a deep cut from Sublime to music from the Ass Ponys and Supernova. Plus: Brujeria!

Discogs

Click here to download.

various artists - Masters Of Misery - Black Sabbath: An Earache Tribute

I've been saving this for a special occasion. But my brain gets sidetracked all the time by so many things, not to mention the correct spelling of "occasion", which never looks right to me, although the dictionary and spell check tell it is, indeed, correct. And, thus, this has been hanging out on various file sharing platforms for at least a couple of years.

The time for action is now. ADHD be damned.

I was all of 15, and not much of a metal fan, when this came out as a Japan-exclusive release in 1992. Curated by the extreme metal label Earache, and released by their Japanese distributor Toy's Factory, this collects the bleeding edge of what metal was in the last decade of the millenium, all performing songs by the sainted Black Sabbath. Sabbath was on a bit of an uptick, having released "Dehumanizer" earlier that year, having reunited the "Mob Rules" lineup. But at the time to most, Black Sabbath was the band Ozzy used to front, a group that was better known for inspiring bits in This Is Spinal Tap than any music they'd made in the past 10 years.

I guess my point is that Black Sabbath, a band never known as cool up to that point, was decidedly at their most uncool. And to have so many leading lights of the underground acknowledge a key influence that was at its ebb was a very awesome thing. There aren't any duds here, a testament not only to the lineup, but also to the songwriting chops of Iommi, Butler, Ward and Osbourne/Gillan.

This has been reissued and resequenced a number of time over the years, the first time in 1995. Cadaver's cover of "Sweet Leaf" got dropped, and contributions from Anal Cunt, Ultraviolence, and Iron Monkey added, reflecting Earache's contemporary roster more accurately. It wasn't for the best, in my humble opinion. This remains the definitive version of what is still my favorite Sabbath tribute.

Discogs

Click here to download.

various artists - MLB: Music - Games - Baseball

Let me make this clear: this is probably one of the worst things I'll ever post here. But I stopped by one of my local favorite on Friday after work, ostensibly to pick up some massively discounted CDs during their moving sale. Mission accomplished: I grabbed this, a copy of Górecki's Symphony No. 3, and a few other things I didn't feel at all shy about paying 10 cents or so for. Total bill: $0.83 for four CDs, a cassette copy of Tori Amos's "Under The Pink", and something by Portland's the U-Krew. It's possible I thought I was buying a U-Men tape; who can say?

But this is a fucking tragedy. A sampling of songs that appeared in 2005's baseball video games, this is the worst of the worst walk-up music I've ever heard. Camden Yards was good for using old school hip-hop and contemporary garage rock for the likes of Larry Bigbie and Luke Scott. Why couldn't that taste translate to MLB Baseball 2005, or 2K5, or even Slugfest? Instead, there's a Nickleback signing, a couple of Christian rockers, and a Finnish symphonic metal band. None of this screams, "coming to the plate: Melvin Mora" to me.

I washed the taste of this one by ordering Scat's last in-stock copy of "Bee Thousand", and watching the Orioles take 2 of 3 from the Phils. Onward and upward.

Discogs

Click here to download.

various artists - Metal Minded

I've been trying to sort out that busted hard drive, so, in the interim, I just muddle along, posting things that I find for a buck or two that I think are pretty neat.

Speaking of neat (or Neat): I turned this up at one of my go-to thrift stores for a buck. It had the look and name of real trash, a sampler of cruddy hair metal from the late 80s, slopped together from the back catalogs of major labels trolling the Sunset Strip. But I've turned up a lot of black metal from the same shelves in the past few weeks, and looking doesn't cost a thing, so I picked it up and saw some names I recognized as originating from the annals of NWOBHM: Raven, Warrior, Steel, White Spirit. In the pile it went.

What this ended up being is Neat Records' 1982 cassette comp "60 Minute Plus Heavy Metal Compilation", minus a few tracks, along with four tracks from 1985's "Axe Attack" appended at the end. It's 15 tracks' worth of early 80s British heavy metal, Frankenstein'ed together into a single disc and available for sale in what I assume was your finer convenience stores and truck stops. Prism Entertainment, the label of note here, is better known in my house as a purveyor of Z-grade VHS; I guess they put out some music, too, albeit nothing as righteous as this collection of jean vest wearing head bangers from the early 80s.

Discogs

Click here to download.

Motörhead ‎– No Sleep 'Til Hammersmith

The old joke goes, "Who'd win in a fight: Lemmy, or God?" "Trick question: Lemmy IS God!" I heard it for the first time when I saw "Airheads", where Brendan Fraser, Steve Buscemi, and Adam Sandler cover a Reagan Youth song while Michaels McKean and Richards chew the scenery. A fine film, if you're asking.

One of the greatest (and loudest) shows I ever attended was Iron Maiden, Dio, and Motörhead: the sixth date of the American leg of the "Give Me Ed… 'Til I'm Dead World Tour". LIVE at Merriweather Post Pavilion in scenic Columbia, Maryland. I was finishing up college, working at a bar and trying to figure out what I was going to do with the next year of my life, when it was decided that the bar's ownership would treat us to tickets to this show. Now, I never grew up a metalhead, but everyone loves (or should love) Lemmy, and Philthy Animal Taylor all but invented D-beat, so I rented a van for the lot of us, put the only straight edger in our crew in charge of driving, and off we went. Just about everyone had tied one on before the show started; we staggered in as a wobbly group of a dozen punks, skins, and metal heads. It was still daylight when Motörhead hit the stage and absolutely PUMMELED us while we stood in the eighth row. I've never seen a room fill up so quickly once they started playing. By the end of their set, we were all agape, whether it was the first time or 20th time we'd seen them. We were just brutalized, regardless of our individual level of experience with the band. It was as good as feeling as the highest high, a state of euphoria I've not often reached.

Everything after that was just gravy. Dio was amazing (totally changed my opinion on him) and Maiden...well, Maiden was MAIDEN. They were great. But it was Motörhead that left the lasting impression. I went from being familiar to being a true fan, the kind that waxed poetic as each member of the classic trio passed along over the past ten years.

I'm not even sure if "No Sleep 'Til Hammersmith" is a fair representation of what I saw. After all, it was recorded over five nights between the release of "Ace Of Spades" and "Iron Fist", in the midst of their truly heroic run of releases on Bronze. Over 20 years would pass until I'd see them in the summer of 2003. But I'll be damned if it didn't earn its #1 chart position, via one of the greatest live albums of all time. The copy shared here is the Roadracer 1991 US reissue. It includes five live tracks that didn't appear on the initial Bronze release, four of which were released on 1980's "The Golden Years" EP. Two of those would be omitted from future pressings, so it's a nice version to pick up.

If Lemmy is God, and I'm told Lemmy is dead, than the corollary should be that God is dead. I prefer to believe that Mssrs. Kilmister, Clarke, and Taylor have all ascended to a higher plane, where they are now laying waste and teaching the true meaning of white line fever.

Discogs

Click here to download.

various artists - Let There Be Doom II (A Kult Collection Of Massive Sub-Harmonics)

It's Monday. "Happy first Monday of 2021," says I. How about some doom metal?

What you have here is a sampler from the good folks at Southern Lord, circa 2004, of some of their finer doom metal bands. Now, I'm not nearly kvlt enough to offer some new and interesting insight into what you'll hear here, should you wish to download and listen. But I've found Greg Anderson to be an arbiter of good taste, it's his label, and he has half a dozen songs here, so I'm guessing that's why I snagged this when I did. Wino also appears a few times here, via songs from the Obsessed and Saint Vitus, and a guest appearance on a Place of Skulls track. Hell, things wrap up with a cut from Dave Grohl's Probot project, featuring Lemmy on vox. Skål!

So if you're feeling some bass-heavy sounds on this Monday morning (or whenever you happen to read this), then dive right in. I find this to be an excellent set of recordings to read e-mail and write white papers to. But I have issues that I solve with prescribed pharmaceuticals, so take that with a grain of salt.

Discogs

Click here to download.

Baroness - demo

I mentioned it a ways back about that time Baroness jumped on a show I booked at the second Talking Head, how they only got a few songs played in the course of an hour on account of failing gear. But they ripped those few songs, and I got their demo for my trouble, and then about three years ago I sold said demo for something like $50, and, phew, is this sentence going on long.

This two song demo was recorded a few months before Baroness recorded "First". They cut early versions of "Tower Falls" and "Coeur" with Pavement drummer Steve West (?!?) in his Marble Valley Studios (I'm guessing in Charlottsville?), and dropped them onto a CD-R with the delightful artwork you see below. Only John Dyer Baizley remains from that initial Baroness lineup, and the band records now under their own Abraxan Hymns imprint, distributed by Warner Music Group.

I remember being really stressed out by them playing, but digging it because it was heavy, and then not really being curious about seeking out their music again. Very off brand for me. But I guess Mastodon and High on Fire filled that niche in my earbrain at the time, and now I'm thinking maybe it's time to give it another go.

Discogs

Click here to download.

No Stagediving

The best laid plans of mice and men called for an in-depth, last Bandcamp Friday of 2020 blog, detailing all the stuff on my wishlist that I'd spend money I don't really have on, all in the name of supporting the little guy.

And then I took a nap after work, laid in bed with my wife, watched "Bob's Burgers" and ate too much Jack in the Box. What I'm saying is, I turned into a real turd this evening.

So I'll limit comment here to an ongoing project supporting artists from Baltimore and organized by the team at the Ottobar. Readers here know I'm an Ottobar alum, having worked the door, mopped the floors, backed the bar, and played the stage. From its first location on Davis St., to its present haunt at 26th and Howard, it was my spot until I split town in 2014. Even still, it's where Mrs. Ape and I will plan to meet friends for a drink should we ever make it back home.

Organized by Jerrod and Steve, and backed by Tecla, Todd, and Dana of the Ottobar's management, "No Stagediving" is a two-volume, 106 track collection of Baltimore past and present, grouped solely by having appeared onstage at 2549 Howard St. Some names, you'll already know: Future Islands, Dan Deacon, Lower Dens, and Wye Oak. Baltimore punk, hardcore, and emo also represents, with 90s groups like Cross My Heart and Daybreak mixing with current leading lights like War on Women and Truth Cult. It's one of the few surveys available covering any sort of historical swath of Baltimore hip-hop, as Labtekwon, Rye Rye, and Soul Cannon all turn up. If it's played that stage, it's probably turned up here.

Each collection is a $10 donation and, as happens every Bandcamp Friday, all proceeds go to the bar and bands. Get into the City that Breeds.

Bandcamp

G.I.S.M. and their Relapse reissue

G.I.S.M., aka Grubby Incest Stripper Mastitis, aka Grand Imperialism Social Murder

My very first exposure to the Japanese hardcore legends known as G.I.S.M. was, like so many other American punx, via their track on R Radical's landmark comp, 1984's "International P.E.A.C.E. Benefit Compilation". Slotted as the second track on Side A, between Articles of Faith and Neon Christ, the Tokyo quartet supplied the lead track from the previous year's debut LP. "Endless Blockads for the Pussyfooter" was so different from anything I'd heard up to that point. It felt more like some insane amalgam of hardcore, metal, glam, and noise collage made by lunatic punx, with crazy leads and solos by Randy Uchida and that wild-ass echoing vocal by Sakevi. Of course, none of their other work really ever turned up around me. If it showed up in Baltimore, it'd typically get picked up immediately by someone who lived closer to the store. So I'd hear more the legend than experience the music. Hearing a second or third generation tape, or a crackly bootleg 12", was akin to sharing old VHS tapes of Bo Jackson with a younger football fan. I definitely wanted to experience more. Now, the internet has been good to me, in as much as I've tracked down all their early releases digitally. It's not the same as slapping a record on the turntable, but it serves as an apéritif, whetting my appetite for the day that I eventually come across a copy of "Detestation".

Apparently, I'll be able to dine on a physical copy on December 4, as Relapse Records is taking preorders right now for the first ever authorized reissue of the first G.I.S.M. album. A split release with Japan's Beast Arts, this is an authentic recreation of the original 1983 Dogma/City Rocker release. What's new is the obi strip that comes on the 12", as well as a new CD reissue featuring three additional tracks, AND a first-time-ever release on cassette. The limited edition 12" on white and cassette with clear shell are already sold out, but the black vinyl, black cassette, and CD are still available, along with some really dope looking t-shirts and a zip-up hoodie.

If you're at all into Japanese hardcore, metal, or independent music, you know what a big deal this release is. And the idea that Sakevi is working with Relapse on this reissue suggests that we might get some additional reissues of their two later LPs, as well as comp tracks, which is totally exciting. So, don't sleep on this; slap that "preorder" button, tout en suite! But don't take my word for it. Go ahead and sample this RIGHT NOW!

Danzig - Death Had No Name

Here's another one I got from all-time great blog [shiny grey monotone], a site I visit daily because I know when they do post, it'll be quality. If you enjoy what I post here, then they are a must follow.

It took me a very long time to appreciate the Misfits and, by extension, Glenn Danzig. Chalk it up to getting into punk during that short period where all the Misfits records were out of print. Or blame it on only having one friend who was into Danzig's eponymous band, and us only listening to Fugazi and Nirvana and the Breeders when we drove around getting baked. Or maybe it just had to do with the fact that owning a Misfits t-shirt was punk 101, and I was always trying too hard not to look like a poseur. It wasn't until my late 20s that I was willing to listen to Jersey's finest, and even then, it took a mixtape that led off with "Where Eagles Dare" for me to get it.

Which is a damned shame, because I let myself miss out on the joys of one of the best crooners of the past 40 years. As I was chasing old Dischord releases and devouring Pushead's recommendations from Thrasher back issues, I was also discovering vocal jazz and pop from the 40s thru the 60s: Sinatra, Dean-o, Nina, Chet. I found I loved hearing someone sing their ass off as much as I loved circle pitting and singing along. I had the chance to hear one of the modern equivalents, singing about demons and succubi and the Devil. I couldn't get past the corniness to experience the soul.

So, about "Death Had No Name": this 7", resembling a Sub Pop Singles Club release, came out in 1991, in a pressing of 1,000 pieces...or so the back cover says. There were 500 on yellow, 500 on blue. The title track was a "Danzig"-era recording that wouldn't get a legitimate release for another 16 years until 2007's "The Lost Tracks of Danzig". It shows up in a ton of the Danzig bootlegs out there, but always as a live version. The B-sides are a ton of fun. As far as I can tell, both date from the 1987 rehearsal tapes that would come out as "Demos '88" in 1990. "Possession", as noted in the SGM post, rips the version that appeared on the Danzig debut. And "Trouble"? Sure, it's on the nose to have Danzig do a song popularized by Elvis. But I like it. If nothing else, it's an excellent mixtape curiosity.

Where does this leave us? It's possible I've downloaded a few Danzig records I don't own in the past month or so. And I've been contemplating picking up a copy of "Danzig Sings Elvis" a lot. Tell me I'm wrong.

Discogs

Click here to download.

various artists - Better Dead Than Read

Let's make this quick, as it's 2am and I've been tip-toeing around a panic attack all day.

I miss seeing AK Press tables at shows. I miss distros and Food Not Bombs and ARA tables and all the non-band-related activity that'd bubble around a hall in the 90s.

John Yates should be a lot more lauded than he is for his graphic design. Even 30 years on, his record covers remain some of my favorite design pieces of all time. Take the below: you can immediately identify that this is going to be some hard left material. His use of imagery and fonts do such a great job of communicating message. If you engage with Instagram, I highly recommend following him; he's been turning out pretty great leftist propaganda this year.

This might have been the first release on Epitaph that I made a point of purchasing. I had a mean hard on about barcodes on records and CDs in those days (thanks, Tim Yo), and most of what came out on Epitaph was more mainstream than I wanted to listen to. But this had a ton of interesting weirdo music on it (Spazz! Tribes of Neurot! Chumbawamba! The Levellers!), so I snagged a copy. Turned me onto a lot I'd otherwise never encounter. No regrets.

Discogs

Click here to download.

Primal Scream (NYC) - Volume One

This little slice of late 80s thrash is one of my favorite crate digging finds. My in-laws live on California's Central Coast, and when there isn't a pandemic on, and we aren't both unemployed and staving off eviction, Mrs. Ape and I try to go down at least once a year to hang out. Because my in-laws are rad, you see. And I really like the area south of San Francisco; it's the promise of California, writ large.

So we're putzing about one afternoon, checking out Salinas when we see this dinky little thrift store in a strip mall. I already have good feelings when I walk in, see a G1 Soundwave for $5 (a perfect gift for my brother), and Mrs. Ape grips a pair of late-60s, high-waisted gabardine slacks. I dig around in the vinyl, shoved onto a rack of industrial shelving, and pull a copy of "The Coming War With Russia". Not a ground-breaker, but who am I to resist the bat-shittedness of the good Rev. Jack Van Impe? I see a stack of around 25 CDs. Most of it is garbage, but I see Primal Scream on the spine of one and figure, "Well, maybe this is a Creation collection I don't have yet." I take my finds up to the counter. The fella behind and I start talking about the Germs and thrifting around Atlanta. He rings me up for everything. "How about $10 for it all?" "Sure."

I walk out to the car for a smoke, and start logging my music. And that's when I see that my fav Glaswegians (sadly) never put a two-faced baboon on the cover of one of their records.

This Primal Scream was a "throk" quartet from NYC that ran for about 3 years and only released this record along with a demo tape. The best known name here is guitarist/vocalist Keith Alexander, who had started Carnivore with Peter Steele and played with the band until 1986. This reminds me the rockier side of crossover: "Cause for Alarm", "Best Wishes"...you know, those first few years when the metalheads learned how to circle pit. This isn't perfect, but it's more fun than any number of Pantera records. And isn't that what we're all looking for out of life?

This would be the part of the post where I offered to let my cherry-looking copy go for a good deal to a friend of the blog. BUT! The good folks at Pittsburgh's Divebomb Records, who do a fantastic job with their reissues, are re-releasing "Volume One" for the first time in over 30 years in October!!! WHOA!!! That's incredible news for 80s thrash fans, or folks who don't want to spend three figures on a CD. Not only will this rarity be available again, but Divebomb has tacked on the 1986 demo, "The Outrage Continues", as a special bonus. You can preorder the deluxe edition here. At $12, that's a fuggin' killah deal!

Discogs

Click here to download.

Melvins - Your Choice Live Series 012

Let's keep this one short: here's the last of the Your Choice Live series that I own(ed). I found this a few years ago for less than $10, turned around and sold it for more than $10. This came out in the midst of  Boner Records-era Melvins; the lineup is Buzzo, Dale, and Lori on bass. They were sooooo young.

Melvins were always one of those bands I felt I should like more than I do. They have fun merch and great record covers and work with great labels, yet their music is just a muffled fart on a snare drum to me. Maybe I just haven't encountered the right record yet? God knows they have a deep enough catalog that there has to be something I'd like, right?

More trenchant insights tomorrow, I swear!

Discogs

Click here to download.

Void - Potion For Bad Dreams

From the sublime, to the ridiculous...

It's still kinda amazing to me that two of the great punk/indie catalogs of the 80s, in Touch & Go and SST, have no gotten the comprehensive remastering and reissuing that we saw out of Dischord 10-15 years ago. Not only that, there are rarities from T&G, especially their early hardcore days, that haven't been revisited. I'm thrilled that the early Necros stuff is available digitally on Bandcamp from the band, and that "Tied Down" got new vinyl pressings last year and this year. But it sucks that bands like Hüsker Dü and Minutemen and Naked Raygun haven't gotten even a portion of the scholarly, loving treatment they deserve.

I'll step off the soapbox to, instead, share a record that (probably) rightfully has never been released. In 1983, Void was coming off the previous year's release of their split with the Faith, possibly the greatest split 12" of all time (prove me wrong!). They were the perfect melding of hardcore and metal; like Bad Brains and Motörhead making beautiful monkey love. How could you top such a ripper?

Turns out, you can't. Like their contemporaries in SSD, Void recorded a glam metal record, highlighting not just the fracturing interests of the band members, but also state of the hardcore scene in 1983. The leading lights were growing up, and many were ready to go pro and start making real money off their craft.

"Potion for Bad Dreams" was originally recorded for Touch & Go, a reflection of their alliance with T&G owner/Necros drummer Corey Rusk. But between the band falling apart, the lack of enthusiasm in the recording, and the need to focus on upcoming releases from Tesco Vee, the Butthole Surfers, and Die Kruezen, Rusk shelved this sucker. I say, for good reason.

This rip comes from my copy of the tape that Das Boots put out in 2014/15. I have no clue what generation recording they used for their release; I do know this has been booted almost since the day it was recorded, and my copy is one of the better I've heard. Some of y'all may enjoy this. If I remember correctly, I remember both Sean from White Zombie and Buzz from the Melvins saying in interviews what a shame it was this had never been put out. I'm not one of them, but it doesn't mean it shouldn't be shared.

Discogs

Click here to download.

Unsane - Unsane

Screencap from YouTube/Noise r'us

Unsane came along for me at the perfect time and proved that ugly art could be sexy.

I had no clue, at the age of 15, that a lot of the material on their self-titled LP had existed for two or three years, or that drummer Charlie Ondras would O.D. within a year of the record coming out. All I knew was what I heard, initially, on a dubbed tape while skating (and falling) all over downtown Roanoke, VA. It was brutality on a level I hadn't experienced yet. It was the soundtrack to a New York City that would disappear completely within a few years. It was lurid; it made "Friday the 13th" and Metallica look two-dimensional by comparison. I think it's important to note what it's like when a teenager encounters a naturalistic performance like this. Everything else started feeling contrived and fake.

Now it's 2020, and Matador Records has long since stopped being the home for weird and noisy New York City bands. New York isn't even New York anymore; it's a place where people stash their money in real estate they never live in. Unsane got a "new" drummer in Vinnie Signorelli who only lasted through the lifetime of the band. They'd go on hiatus, get back together, record another 10 full-lengths, and eventually would call it a day in late 2019. This remains a keystone record for me; the thing that opened me up to noise rock, noise, power electronics, etc. I still remain shocked that it's still out of print.

Discogs

Click here to download.

Medic - Greetings & Amputations

Grind yr fuckin' ears out, jerkface!!!!










Medic - Greetings & Amputations
(click record cover for DL)

RIYL: skatin', Satan, Katan

Special Comment: All the Young Punks.

Thanks to Sir Ape for the chance to guest blog.

"The kids grow up faster and faster these days." That's not just an aging punk's dismissal of younger kids in the scene, its meant to be as close to a literal statement as possible. I'm old enough to remember the invention of CD's, which makes me feel like a grandpa. More than that though, it means I had to work a lot harder to dig new music when I was in high school. Everything was harder back then; finding new music (before itunes), making a fashion statement (before Hot Topic), setting up shows or tours (before email). It goes on and on. Today it takes 4 minutes to drag and drop a playlist when it used to take 4 hours to fill a blank tape with just the right mix.

The new user friendly underground has been good in many ways, but has had its drawbacks as well. Its also had some unintended consequences which are somewhere in between, and its one of those consequences which I intend to discuss here on the record.

The kids are growing up faster because they're starting much younger. When I was coming up you needed your own car just to get to the record shop or the shows, which were all few and far between and located in the inner city, and sometimes in downright shitty neighborhoods. When I started at 15 and 16, being punk wasn't easy, and it sometimes even felt dangerous. (the Loft, the Virgin House.)

Now after the incorporation of punk and the advent of the internet, there's no need to drive for an hour to pick through stacks of records. You can buy any record in the world online. There's no need to comb PP or MRR for new bands or record reviews. New bands come into your friend request folder, with reviews & mp3's posted on their page. This is not such a bad thing at all, but it has lowered the age of a 'young' punk from 15 or 16 to 11 or 12.

So what happens when kids get sold on Blink 182 and Fallout Boy from the age of about 10? You end up with bands like the Brace Face Mini Punx, who are 13 and already playing shows, and already jaded enough to be 'like so over' Against Me! (Who suck anyway.)

Now, I think myself, and most of my friends have made logical musical progressions, starting out by listening to The Misfits, Minor Threat, DK, OPIV, Black Flag, etc. and exploring other sub-genres like anarcho-punk, ska-punk, HC, et al, moving into some form of post-punk, and having an all around good ear for music, keeping an appreciation for the standards, and measuring new music against them.

What are the Standards? What wears well? What is good taste? If you read Primitive Offerings you already know what I mean.

After careful observation, I've begun to notice a new pattern emerging. With kids being plugged into music under 10 years old, and having hundreds of myspace friends and playing shows in middle school, more and more kids are having a sort of 'musical mid-life crisis' by the time they're old enough to move out of mom's house and go to college.

A crisis is serious. When you're in crisis, its not enough just have a song that you can relate to, with rhythm and melody and decent hooks. No. What you need is...

SOMETHING TOTALLY NEW AND ORIGINAL!!!

Looking around Baltimore scene, there's not a whole lot of originality. All the kids work the same jobs (at Rocket to Venus, as a sound guy, or a bike messenger). Everyone lives in the same places (Calvert Street, Hampden, communal houses), screws the same women (you know who you are), and even sell each other the same tired old used vans to tour in. There is nothing new under the sun.

So what does this mean to a jaded 22 year old (anti) hipster? It mostly means sitting around the practice space, smoking a joint, drinking untold amounts of Boh, staring at an exposed brick wall and trying to think of some new way to distinguish yourself as a musician. Which means

METAL!

Let's be very clear about this... metal sucks. Speed, thrash, doom, drone, sludge, death... all of it. (Well, except Anthrax.) Ever since the beginnings in the 70's, metal and punk have been completely separate and distinct. Then a couple of things happened...

1. Rap divided popular music into two kinds; the kind with guitars and the kind without.

2. Mtv pandered to the lowest common denominator. Anyone with a leather jacket was percieved by the general public as a headbanger.

3. "Alternative" happened. And then it didn't happen anymore.

4. Mtv stopped playing music altogether, and myspace became the new Mtv. And everybody's friends on myspace.

There's more to it, but since the days of Black Sabbath and the Ramones the 'underground' or 'scene' has become less distinct and more of a mishmash of cross-pollenating styles and genres served up by nameless and two-bit bands and labels.

How many times have you, gentle reader, struggled to describe some band you saw last weekend? "Ummm they were kind of a proto-drone-sludge-noise-post- doom electro no-wave blasting degenerock?" ? (yeah. two question marks in that sentence.)

I will admit that it takes more and better musicianship to craft a metal song than a punk song. However... I am not a musician. And most consumers of music are not musicians. And we don't give a fuck how technical your song is, what your time signatures are, how long or short your compositions are, or the decibel ratio between notes and growls. Metal is fucking boring. Where punk is socially aware, metal is self-aware. Where punk is for everyone, metal still largely the province of white macho-men... just a different sort of macho man who doesn't play football. Where metal is always negative, hardcore and punk have always been a balance and contrast between the positive and negative; Hope and No Future.


But mostly, metal is so goddamn serious and punk is fun. What's a typical metal song? Grief, doom, armageddon, arcane metaphors that just sound creepy, and in growling lyrics you can't comprehend anyway.

What makes a good punk song? Your greedy landlord, that girl you like, your piece of shit car, your asshole boss... you know punkrock. I don't have to tell you.

So with more and more bands playing out who are un-genre-describable, and influenced by Motorhead and Celtic Frost I've chosen to go back. All the way back to number 3 on the bullet list above... to alternative.

If Baltimore bands are going to continue to serve me downtuned, metaphoric, hypnotic, noisy crap, I'm going to keep going back to the music I was just a little too young to fully appreciate when it came out, when i didn't have social networking to feed it to me, and when I was too naive realize what it meant when it was an 'alternative'... stuff like Steven Malkmus and the Jicks, Pavement, Archers of Loaf, Afghan Whigs, Sugar, Love Spit Love, the Breeders, Catherine Wheel, Charlatans, Replacements, Mudhoney, Buffalo Tom. etc. These bands had a good thing going before Pearl Jam sold them out.

And as far as the division between punk and metal... If a great artist can make something new out of paint of clay, then your band should be able to make something new and fun out of the same 3 chords and rhyming words. Dead Mechanical and Deep Sleep can, and if you can't then why the fuck should I come to your show? I'm gonna stay home and listen to No Alternative and the Singles soundtrack.

All your jeans were too tight.

Botch - An Anthology of Dead Ends 10"

One of my best friends, shortly after reading these pages for the first time, griped that "you're writing way too much". Is that true, dear reader? You're here for the rock, right? But you stay for the chat, the rambling stories, correct?

Hmmm, a reasonably quick note about Botch. Members (in the guise of Roy) stayed at my Charles St. crib for a night after I threw the worst-attended show I ever put on at the Talking Head on a Monday. I liked Botch a lot more than I liked Roy. Who in their right mind names their band "Roy"? Anyway, the singer's now in Narrows, while the guitarist is in Minus the Bear. Pretty good stuff, I guess. That has fuck all to do with Botch, who, like any truly cool band, only received their due credit after they broke up.

I see this EP goes for pretty cheap on Amazon...maybe you should buy it if you like what you hear...but who am I kidding? This is the last studio release by Botch, and was released both as a CD & a multi-hued 10".










Botch - An Anthology of Dead Ends 10"

RIYL: Cave-In, Jesu, Envy, tattoos of razorblades